i tried to be good, am i no good?

am i no good?

KWON BORA.

權寶羅

for a more detailed explanation of their

family's past, see kwon nabi's profile.

early years: 1841-1850.

born into a family of nobi for the park household, bora grew up comparing herself to her sister. she had always wished her parents had given her a name as radiant as her sister's, which meant star, but she was left with bora: purple. she always seemed to fall short when it came to serving the household. she was clumsy, her cooking was mediocre, and she naturally did not have the best manners, but bora did not let that falter her smile.

after their mother's death during childbirth, the three siblings were left with their father, who in his grief, developed a taste for alcohol. in his pursuit for more, he resorted to theft and walked out of his children's life, leaving the eldest to take care of the two. in that moment, something changed within bora. with her sister taking over the maternal duties, she felt that her abilities were being undermined. she wanted to help, but her sister was far more capable of doing so and she never got to prove herself. she grew bitter.

tamna: 1854-1861.

it wasn't until their uncle, a farmer, took the three siblings in that they would receive parental guidance and support. they were happy again, but this happiness did not linger for long.

in 1860, a massacre on the island ensues after a period of famine. narrowly escaping death, it leaves a mental scar on bora after having witnessed her uncle and aunt being slaughtered like animals. despite being rescued by marchioness ryu with the rest of her siblings, bora's mind remained on the island. the bloodshed. the screams. they tormented her.

for an entire year, bora went mute, unable to utter a single word, and resorted to needlework to express herself and calm her nerves. she was declared diamond of the year of 1861.

history.

1683-1687.

nabi began work in hanseong, enough to support bora and their brother. she had always been suspicious of her sister's work. bora knew better—the money that nabi sent every month was not typical of a common worker. at one point, bora penned her sister, asking if she had gotten married as one of the concubines to a rich man without her knowing. how else could she support their family? her older sister brushed off bora's concerns and told you to focus on becoming an appropriate young lady, whatever that is. she hired a caretaker to look after her. she bought you a wardrobe befitting of a fair maiden. nabi insisted that bora would be able to marry into a nice family one day and live comfortably.

against her will, nabi began to send bora for housewife classes that would train her to become the perfect marriageable woman, but she never wanted to become that. she rebelled, from running away to dressing in her younger brother's clothes—bora would do anything to evade her classes. she wanted to do something more. be something more.

back at tamna, the vast ocean had fascinated her and she longed to explore what lied beyond those blue waters. maybe, just maybe, there was a place where she belonged. bora didn't know exactly what she wanted to be. perhaps all she wanted was an escape from reality. she didn't want to her life to directed by her sister. she had already put up with that for the majority of her life. the only problem? she could not do anything to change it. begrudgingly, she put up with the classes and accepted her fate.

summer 1867.

while out picking groceries with nabi, bora watches in horror as a noblewoman accuses her sister of ruining her marriage and reveals that nabi had worked as a gisaeng. bora's suspicious had been proven right. and in that moment, she hated her sister.

how could nabi have such high expectations for her when she herself was no better than a common whore? what a hypocrite. and how embarrassing of this to unfold in their new home! ironically enough, the knowledge that the head of the household used to be a gisaeng might even have been enough to scare away all her prospects. her older sister had ruined her own plans for bora by her own doing. her torturous compliance to her sister's wishes had resulted in nothing.

1868.

after evading the social season to the best of her ability since her debut, bora became fed up with the suffocating expectations of finding a husband constantly looming over her. the thought of continuing housewife classes, answering her brother's questions about their sister, and holding back her true desires for one more day drove her mad.

with the conclusion of the social season, in the middle of the night, leaving just a letter for her brother, she leaves home for hanseong. with the aid of a disguise using her younger brother's clothes and selling most of the fine clothes that her sister had gifted to her, bora starts a humble needlework business specializing in embroidery, tailoring, and repairs at the bustling marketplace in the hopes that her sister won't be able to recognize her amongst the crowds.

“i am no better than my father.”

kwon wook

kwon bora

youngest daughter.

youngest + only son. (npc)

家族

personality.

⤷ intj-t. the architect.

⤷ slytherin.

⤷ 4w5.

⤷ melancholic-choleric.

⤷ acts of service and gift giving.

(+) creative, analytical, independent.

(=) rebellious, self-conscious, bold, intense, perfectionist, selective loyalty.

(-) skeptical, critical, defensive, stubborn, self-absorbed, nosy, blunt, impatient.

likes : cherries, plum blossoms, the scent of the ocean, gloomy weather, snow, osmanthus, hwajeon, makgeolli, crowded areas, the laughter of children, kids, freshly washed sheets, seafood.

dislikes : housewife classes, most men, seeing happy couples in public, the stillness of the night, silence, eating alone.

hobbies : embroidery, staring at the clouds, journaling, cooking.

fears : large bugs, knives, blood.

— during the tamna massacre, bora was stabbed and her uterus was damaged in the process, rendering her infertile.

⤷ her infertility is a driving force for her sister to push for bora to be marriageable. although nabi is under the impression that bora is unaware of her condition, she knows and it has only weakened her trust in nabi.

— she has a long scar below her belly button from the tamna massacre.

— she pretends to be married. with jiah’s help, she hired a man, woo dohyun to be her fake husband as jo saejin (using an identity tag stolen by jiah), and so, many people know her as jo bora.

— despite having fantasies of being in love, she resists those temptations because of their association with marriage.

— she has a resting bitch face and rarely smiles.

— she used to be a very mellow girl, smiling often and laughing to her heart's content. now, she's just a shell of her past self.

— she eats in front of a mirror, to pretend that she has a companion during mealtime because she hates eating alone.

— bora does not actually hate her sister. she knows she is a splitting mirror image of her, but a more beautiful image—a stronger woman than herself. she's afraid that she will live in her sister's shadow forever.

— she enjoys dipping her feet into water as it reminds her of tamna.

— due to taking out a loan to help start her business, bora is hunted and chased by debt collectors.

— she has a bad habit of drowning out her feelings with alcohol (borderline alcoholic).

— a stray tuxedo cat named haru often finds his way into her home.

connections.

park yeongho

childhood friend.

park yeonghan

older brother figure.

cha jiah

close friend.

cha kihyun

his unwilling partner-in-crime, crush.

han miro

close friend.

na garam

go-to fortuneteller.

jeong dongmin

friend.

name

relationship.

name

relationship.

name

relationship.

"i watched you change." [ open ]

⤷ male.

⤷ any class, 25+.

⤷ romance, angst.

⤷ flashback, any time between 1863-1868, duration is flexible.

in deep infatuation with one another, you and bora often meet secretly to spend time together. from time to time, bora would even skip her housewife classes just to see you, maybe even just to say hi while you're at work. you've met her younger brother, under the guise of being bora's best friend. your relationship with her is as perfect as can be, filled with laughter and joy. until one day, you mention marriage to bora. not even a proposal—just a casual conversation about matrimony, and in an instant, she changes from day to night.

she begins to push you away.

she builds her walls back up.

she spiraled back into her old vices.

and before you know it, you two are back to being strangers once again.

inspo:

plot/connection skeletons.

hearing your voice. [ open ]

⤷ m/f.

⤷ any class, any age.

⤷ anything you want it to be.

⤷ flashback, 1861.

you have known bora since before her move to tamna when she was still serving the park household. after her disappearance, you can't help but wonder what she's been up to from time to time. coincidentally, you see her again, but this time, the sparkle in her eyes is gone and she only greets you with a solemn smile. you sense something is wrong, and over your encounters with her, you realize that she is unable to speak. wishing to hear her again, you make it a goal of yours to help her find her voice.

just put it on my tab. [ open ]

⤷ m/f.

⤷ any class, any age.

⤷ anything you want it to be.

you lend money to bora, under the impression that she will pay you back soon as she states that she's going to use it to buy more silk thread for her business. unfortunately for you and bora, her business tanks with the plague and the looming war. you demand your money back from her and she's unable to cough anything up.

"just put it on my tab."

"that's not how this works.”

fake wife. [ open ]

⤷ male.

⤷ any class, 25+.

⤷ comedy, anything you want it to be.

accused of doing something suspicious by town officials, in desperation, you look to bora, a woman who looks like she is married because of her hair, and boldly claim that you are just there to pick up your wife, using her as an alibi.

headcanons.

[diamond of the year, 1861.]

with the tamna massacre fresh in her mind, bora simply went through the motions of her debut in a weak effort to numb the grief that loomed over her head. give them your best smile, don’t step on their feet, and make yourself presentable. those present at the gala noted the elegance and daintiness of her walk, the beautiful needlework and embroidery of her hanbok, and her striking features that coupled well with her uncommonly tall stature.

kwon bora did not speak a single word, and the ton took that to be politeness and found her mysteriousness to be rather alluring. not a soul could produce information about her family, the house of the rising serpent. you know what they say, no news is good news, and so, rumors of bora being from a reputable family were spread during the event.

little did they know: bora walked carefully because the stab wound she had suffered to her womb still brought her pain. her hanbok was extravagantly decorated because she used needlework as an outlet for her to cope with the massacre. she was polite because the trauma from recent events had rendered her mute. if it hadn’t been for her circumstances, bora would have protested against her debut and likely would have been one of the least desirable ladies at the gala.

despite her limitations, bora worked hard for the title, naïvely hoping that winning the diamond of the year would restore what she had lost the year before, but it did nothing. how ironic, that the diamond of the year was an unmarriageable lady.

after that year, bora was nowhere to be found in the subsequent galas.

the mun

you can call me gude, gudetama, or by my character's name :)

pronouns : she/her or the pronouns my character has

timezone : gmt-5, but my sleeping schedule is horrendous

age : 20+

— third pov only.

— i usually mirror. i can do from para to multi-para.

— open to all genres, my favorites are angst, comedy, romance, drama. endgames are discussed, not implied.

— no smut. if the plot/connection requires it, i'm okay with implying that something nsfw occurred if you are 20+ ooc.

— i find it difficult to write/understand purple prose, so i greatly prefer writing styles that are more straightforward. i'm completely fine with being detailed, but purple prose is like a different language to me most of the time.

— i am a very busy person because of work and classes, so please be patient and understanding if my replies are slow!

— please do not poke me.

current activity level : 4/10